


Out of my mind

by taieilie



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Fluff, M/M, Mentions of Prostitution, Mentions of drugs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-28
Updated: 2018-01-28
Packaged: 2019-03-10 15:17:27
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,148
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13504227
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/taieilie/pseuds/taieilie
Summary: "The lighter's a triggerI load my gunAnd swallow the bulletsStraight to my lungs"- Johnny decides to smoke outside of his apartment for once -





	Out of my mind

**Author's Note:**

> Title from day6's - out of my mind 
> 
>  
> 
> I hope you enjoy this little thing here. Title has nothing to do with the fic but idc

Only when the air hitted him in the face did he notice that it's too cold outside for only a thin shirt. Did he care though? No. He opened the window further and stretched his body out when he got out. The little metal platform did great job in holding all his body weight, although it looked like it was over hundred centuries old. 

 

Holding the thin paper between his fingers and inhaling the smell of the content of the little plastic bag. Oh, how he deserved it today. 

 

Work was shit in Johnny's eyes. The  _ always _ cramped coffee shop was one of the reasons Johnny would give everything up and go back to his parents in America. His coworkers were the most impolite humans on this planet and Johnny, who always tries to manage a smile in front of customers, gets  _ scolded  _ for little things. This is unbelievable. The tables are shitty and the countertop was sticky most of the time, no matter how many times Johnny wipes them over and over again. It's like a miracle how people even go there. The place is so shitty and in an even shittier era of the town. 

 

Not only work is shit. No, even university gives Johnny a fucking headache. The professors are incompetent and the chairs,  _ the fucking chairs _ . The young man could write an essay with over ten pages of how shitty and crappy they are. So uncomfortable with their hardwood and lack of some cushioning. Johnny's back is screaming at him every morning. 

 

His current apartment is not much better. The walls are thinner than paper and the floor is even thinner, Johnny fears to break through the ground one day. 

He doesn't want to stay here any longer than necessary. 

 

Johnny proceeded to take out some of the content of the bag. It felt like a key to a short heaven to him. Rolling it into a little piece of the needed paper and folding it perfectly, he had a lot of time to practice. Smiling to himself as he played with it between his fingers. The night was great for relaxation and Johnny was so damn up to it. He placed the blunt between his lips and lightened the end, inhaling the smoke and exhaling. 

 

He needed a few takes until it hit, but when it did; it was perfect. His head a little clouded as he stared at the stars in the ski, his back resting against the metal of the emergency ladder. He felt so at ease he didn't notice when he closed his eyes for a little too long, he nearly fell asleep right there- 

 

“don't you even think about sleeping in this cold”, he heard an unfamiliar voice speaking, he instantly opened his eyes and looked back into his apartment - no one there. Looking to his sides also didn't help. Was he imagine things? “I'm up here”, the voice spoke again and just then did Johnny slowly rise his head to look up. Right above his apartment window was another one, one level up. 

 

“how long have you been there?” Johnny asked when he took another drag of his blunt. The man looked no day older than 20. Or maybe he only looked young with his hair so tousled and over his forehead. The stranger held an ashtray in his left hand and a cigarette in his right, taking a drag from it. 

When smoke left the man's mouth did he spoke. 

 

“since you smiled like a creep at your weed.” He laughed and looked towards him,taking another drag. “also your stuff smells bad, you should probably change the dealer” he said as he smiled back down into Johnny's direction. 

 

Johnny could only laugh and adjust his hair back into his snapback, blunt between his lips. He felt so exhausted from the day and his muscles were giving up. A shower and going to bed were the next things he would do before he'd pass out. 

 

“can't. He's the cheapest around”, he said sagging back against the metal digging into his back. 

 

Johnny took a look at the man and had to say,he was  _ really _ attractive from his view. The moon light shining against his tanned skin and lips stretching into a pretty smile. Even his fingers looked beautiful - maybe it was the weed talking, but Johnny though he was his type. 

 

They didn't say anything after that, the silence too comfortable to break. Johnny was halfway through his blunt when he suddenly felt even more tired than before. 

 

“rough day?” the stranger asked, obviously seeing how johnny was struggling to stay awake. When Johnny opened his eyes to look at the man, his eyes were so soft Johnny wanted to sleep in them. 

 

“yeah.. kind of.” He answered and put out the very last of his blunt, not feeling like smoking the rest, he was relaxed and that was the only purpose. He closed his eyes again and let the silence run over him - when suddenly a loud yell of the words  _ Moon Taeil _ could be heard. Johnny liked to assume that the man above him was named that. 

 

The stranger, Taeil, turned his body and smiled waving his hand. Then he proceeded to put out his cigarette as well. 

 

“don't stay up for too long if you're so tired. And u better not fall asleep there, you heard me?” he said as Johnny proceeded to stand up. 

 

“where are you going?” Johnny asked confused as his brain was still a slight bit dusted. 

 

“my break is over”, Taeil said as he took off his white bathrobe, Johnny just now noticed, closing his window after saying a cutely  _ see you next time _ .  

  
  


Only the morning after did Johnny realise that he talked to a prostitute. 

  
  


It's been over a week since he first talked to Taeil and Johnny started to catch this habit of smoking outside more often. First he despised the idea of having to leave his (barely) warm apartment to smoke in hope that he will get a glimpse of his  _ really _ cute neighbour. 

 

Yeah  _ okay. _ He may make his money with selling his body, but it would be a sin to not make money out of this body  _ damn. _

 

The saturday night was one of Johnny's favourites. No work tomorrow because it's Sunday and no classes, too. 

 

He can sleep through and finally get some rest, maybe he will even get some pizza although his bank account screams at him not to. Just when he looked up to stare at the window above him did he let out his intake of the smoke. The long intake was giving an even better effect on him. 

 

Johnny was about to press the last of his blunt into the ashtray when the window above him opened and his neighbour stuck his head out. 

 

Taeil looked, well, exhausted. His hair was a mess and his face was as red as a tomato. He wore a really big shirt to cover up his upper body, a cigarette already in his mouth - waiting to be lightened and used. 

 

When their eyes met Taeil's lips formed into a smile. A really cute one Johnny liked to mention. 

 

“hey Johnny”, the older man said down to him pulling out a lighter and directing it to the end of his cigarette, taking an inhale to inflame it. 

 

“hey”, he casually greeted as possible, not ignoring the fact that the sweater was slowly leaving Taeil's shoulder giving Johnny a view of the new hickeys forming on his neck. “rough day?” 

 

He received a snicker when Taeil moved to rest his head against his arms, butt most possible sticking out. Johnny liked to imagine him wearing cute boxer shorts or even nothing at all. 

 

“yeah”, a sigh followed and Johnny admired how Taeil cracked his neck to release some pressure. “at least I finished. I won't answer the phone anymore today.” He laughed and took a drag from his cigarette. 

 

Johnny wasn't sure if he should stay out for much longer, his skin already colding and the blunt already fading - since when was he so resistant to weed. 

 

“what are you doing today?” Taeil suddenly broke the silence and attempted to blow some smoke into Johnny's direction. The younger felt excited, if he plays his cards right he might end up hanging out with Taeil tonight. 

 

“well I thought about getting pizza so nothing much. Did you plan anything?” he opened his box and took out a cigarette. He wasn't smoking nicotine that much these days but sometimes (like now) he needs something to flame up his insides. 

 

Taeil shrugged his shoulders and looked up to the sun slowly retreating and letting the moon take over. 

“pizza sounds good man hadn't had it in a while.” He plays with the cigarette in his hands and puts it out in the ashtray in his left hand - putting it aside to fully play with his sleeves. Johnny thought he was so adorable like this. 

 

“you want to get some together?” Johnny boldly asked and never felt this smug before when he noticed Taeil shying away from the window frame only to came back only seconds later wearing a smile. The look in Taeil's eyes was so breathtaking, the moonlight let them shine and his smile was so bright next to the stars. 

 

“yeah let's get some” 

  
  


Johnny ended up getting the pizza, Taeil assuring to have the drinks in his apartment and some good movies they could watch while eating. 

 

When Johnny went up the flights with two boxes of pizza in his hands. His snapback prevented his newly cut hair to fall into his eyes. He changed into a new white shirt when he left his own apartment with his black skinny jeans sticking to his legs. 

 

His knocking only lasted for a short while because Taeil opened the door in a lighting speed, looking as of he just blow dried his hair. Did he take a shower? 

 

“come in. It's nothing much but feel at home here.” He smiled and made room for johnny to come in, letting him place the pizza boxes on the coffee table in front of a comfortable couch. This apartment looked so different from his own, as if Taeil really tried with this place. It's cute and admirable. 

 

When they selected a movie (that Taeil choose alone) did they start to eat. 

 

“I can't believe we haven't met before that night”, Taeil laughed as he pressed his legs to his chest, chewing his pizza. It was an adorable sight to witness, he looked so small in his white hoodie and black sweatpants. “I mean we live in the same building for what? 5 month?” the older laughed again and looked to his side to get a view of Johnny who was comfortably sitting next to him, maybe even a little too  _ close _ for nearly strangers. 

 

Johnny got to know the man beside him in the last week. They talked about everything and nothing. The American boy was nearly proud of his knowledge about Taeil but he was even more proud about being able to sit so casually next to him. 

 

It all seemed so domestic and he could definitely get used to the sight of the elder sitting there in his comfy clothes staring at the Tv with all of his concentration. Johnny could also see the toes cutely wiggling with how pressed the elder's legs are to his chest. It was so cute. 

 

“it's insane how I missed such a tall and handsome guy like you”, it wasn't weird for Johnny to lightly blush at this compliment. With his back resting against the couch and his legs comfortably spread did he let his pizza slice fall back onto his plate. 

 

“well I guess it's because of our different working hours.” better known as Johnny's working hours, because he knows Taeil doesn't really have a working hour. Over analysing how Taeil might reacted to his kind of rude answer, didn't gave him the idea of that Taeil might actually  _ laugh _ , like he did right now. 

 

“true. It feels like I never really leave this place.” the brunette laughed lightly as he placed his empty plate down on the coffee table. “when actually did you started to smoke weed?” Johnny felt Taeil leaning his body further to him, nearly pressing his chest to Johnny's side; eyes staring at the side of Johnny's face. Just now did Taeil have the opportunity to really see Johnny's beauty. 

 

The male had neatly shaved hair at the back and it all faded into longer hair on the top of his head (when they met he had long hair that reached his jawline; it was pretty too but more of the innocent kind. This kind of hair did some things to Taeil). 

 

“back then in my last days of high school.” he snorted of the irony. He first got  _ high  _ in  _ high school. _ Funny right? “back there in America, my friend kind of was a dealer in Chicago. He got me and my best friend to smoke his stuff. Now it's just something I use to relax for a while”, during his whole rant, Taeil was listening and nodding his head at some points to signal the younger that he was listening. 

 

“I didn't know you were from America, or better said Chicago.” Taeil smiled and leaned his head from the back rest and picked at Johnny's tight, mumbling something from  _ you got some crust here.  _ He patted over Johnny's jeans and may rested his hand on there for a little too long considered  _ friendly. _

 

“yeah came here around a year ago for university.” He smiled and tried to busy his hands with at least  _ something,  _ he played with the plate until Taeil took it away like a mother taking something from a child. 

 

Their fingers brushed and suddenly the room felt way too tiny for Johnny. Heat rising to his head and he really needed some air right now with how much he seemed to gasp for air. 

 

“b-but enough about me!”,  _ oh  _ how embarrassed Johnny was because of his little stutter. Even Taeil must've noticed his nervousness. “when did you start to smoke?” 

 

He tried to get some space between them with turning his body and with how they were now sitting face-to-face, it didn't do anything for the both of them. Johnny noticed the evident blush on Taeil's high cheek bones and was proud to be the reason for it (at least he hoped he is). 

 

“oh it's a thing I started when I first started doing this”, Taeil looked down to his hands, was he  _ embarrassed? _ “work.” He finished after a long pause. 

 

Johnny noticed the sudden change of the atmosphere and he was not okay with it. 

 

It was like his hand worked on its own when he took Taeil's hand in his own, brushing the knuckles softly. 

 

“it became a thing to always smoke one after a client.” He looked into Johnny's eyes trying to muster a smile. “It felt like burning away the regret.” his eyes got teary when he finished and Johnny smiled softly at him trying to bring his mood back up. 

Their hands were still connected. 

 

“you know”, suddenly a long silence was broken by Taeil and Johnny felt his heart beating faster again. Was it silly to feel this way for someone you met a week ago? He knew a lot from Taeil, and he liked every single thing of him. 

Their glances met although the elder's was slightly hidden behind his hair. Johnny's eyes followed the motion of how Taeil's tongue move over his lips. 

The sound of the television long but blended out. 

“I could stop smoking”, Taeil whispered. Johnny got this message,  _ oh _ how he got that  _ damn message. _

 

Everything happened in a mer of seconds. Johnny's lips were connected with Taeil's and everything around them wasn't important anymore. The TV tuned out and know only recognizable as a background music.

 

It felt like, as much of a clichè it may be, but there were fireworks in Johnny's mind and he never noticed how special a kiss can be when you share it with the right one. 

Butterflies hat been flying around his stomach from the first real conversation he had with the older: they seem to be broken free now. 

 

He felt the figure next to him climbing his body until Taeil was sitting on his lap. Johnny suddenly felt a slight fear burning his insides, he didn't want this to be a one time thing. He wants to keep Taeil in his life. 

 

It happened in smooth motion, that Johnny tried to break the kiss. He leaned his head back in hope Taeil would get the message but of course Johnny wasn't lucky. Taeil pressed his mouth even closer and even tried to stick his tongue into Johnny's hot mouth. 

 

After fully breaking the kiss, Johnny eventually succeeded with grabbing Taeil's warm cheeks to free his mouth, Taeil looked breathtaking. 

 

His eyes were lided and his mouth parted a little. His brows actually furrowed at the lost of the plush lips against his own. 

 

“do you.. uhm.. maybe”, Johnny cursed at his stuttering and mentally slapped his face because this was so  _ embarrassing.  _ He coughed awkwardly and tried to continue. “would you like to.. maybe.. go on a date with me tomorrow?” 

 

Suddenly time stopped.  _ Fuck _ why did he even think that Taeil would go out with him? He was so screwed. 

 

When Taeil didn't answer, Johnny was left in sweat. His palms suddenly so sticky. 

Suddenly, the small body above him started to move again. The older moved away from him. 

 

“I mean”, Johnny started again, so nervous that he did something to upset Taeil. “you don't have to. It was just a thought..” He moved awkwardly trying to hide hide his sudden discomfort in the long silence from the older. 

 

When a small hand touched his again, intertwining the fingers and a body leaning against his did he figured out how to breath again. Taeil was leaning his head against his shoulder and snuggled closer to Johnny's tense upper body. 

 

“I would really like that.” was mumbled against his skin before a kiss was placed there. 

  
  


For the rest of the evening, they lay close to each other and watched the last half of the movie that played on the television. A kiss was placed temples, cheeks and foreheads. 

 

When Johnny noticed the time Taeil walked him to the door not wanting to leave the big warm heater that was apparently a sucker for romance movies, like Taeil figured out. 

 

They shared a last kiss before they said their good night. Lastly, Taeil reminding him not to be late to pick him up for the movies tomorrow. 

 

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know if this was even good but I'm out


End file.
